The small child, the lunchbox and the carrot bear

The small child was standing in the middle of the office clutching a large plastic lunchbox about the size of his torso. He looked lost.

‘Whose child is that?’ I asked. No-one seemed to have any idea.

No matter. Surprising and incomprehensible things happen here on a daily basis, and you generally just take them in your stride.

Through much conversation between my colleagues and the small child, most likely interspersed with musings on dinosaurs and superheroes, it emerged that he was searching for one of my colleagues—the lovely ‘E’—in order to deliver the large lunchbox. I figured that maybe she just had a number of siblings and couldn’t remember who they all were. Or perhaps the small child worked for the postal service, which may explain why the last letter we received took three months to arrive from Australia.

At any rate, I thought no more about it until lunchtime when the lovely E started pulling strangely beautiful objects out of the large lunchbox.

Aside from a delicious looking lunch, there were minions made out of tofu. These were followed by a carefully crafted teddy bear made out of carrot. There was also a letter in there.

The bear made out of carrot was very similar to this, except that it looked exactly like a teddy bear.

And so it transpired that the lovely E had a gentleman caller who was attempting to woo her with his dark culinary arts. Not only had the gentleman caller gone to the trouble of producing the art-garnished meal, but had then collared a random small child outside our building and sent him in to find the lovely E, lunchbox in hand. Unfortunately, the child did not know either the gentlemen caller or the lovely E, which had hindered the delivery somewhat.

The outcome? It appears that the daring gambit was unsuccessful. From what I know of the lovely E, the gentleman caller may have been more successful if he had sent the small child in with a backpack full of climbing equipment to set up an abseiling wall in the office, or perhaps taken her by the hand and led her to a hidden mountain stream.

The tofu minions were very similar to this, except that they looked exactly like minions

And so, the lovely E remains unwooed, the gentleman caller has some time to plan his next move, and the rest of us gentlemen can rest a little more easily knowing that carrot-sculpture and small-child handling skills are not necessarily the best way to a woman’s heart.

Hence, this weekend I shall continue my ongoing attempts at wooing Kate by attending ‘Noise Metal Fest’—Mongolia’s premier heavy metal music festival—with her this weekend. Hopefully this will be more successful.


Like what you’ve read? We also have a blog about cycletouring in Europe. Check it out here:


The lovely E has since supplied me with a photograph of the actual lunchbox:


The gentleman caller has skills.


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